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- Determine whether you were actually cheated on. Ask yourself these questions: Were you officially boyfriend and girlfriend at the time this "cheating" occurred? Were you officially monogamous? If not, you cannot be sure that your significant other knew what he or she was doing would offend you, in which case you need to forget the incident or move on to someone else if you can't get over it.
- Find out what actually happened, and talk to your partner about it. Was he or she coerced? And was he or she under the influence of drugs or alcohol? If the first two are the case, you may not want to consider it cheating. If it is the third, your partner may have substance problems to address, and you may need to take a break in the relationship. Generally, if someone cheats on you while under the influence of marijuana or alcohol, and they weren't completely unconscious, they had some desire (hidden or not) to cheat on you.
- Ask yourself if you will ever be able to look at your partner the same way. Infidelity doesn't mean much for some, and some people have more than one physical relationship and it doesn't suggest a shortcoming in their relationship with their steady partner, but this is rare. Infidelity often indicates boredom and dissatisfaction with the present relationships. Dealing with a partner who doesn't want you in the first place, or one who doesn't mind hurting you, is ridiculous. Dump him/her if this is the case.
- Don't break up with your partner and later take him back. This will only give you more emotional stress. If you break up, make it a clean break.
- Don't talk to your ex after breaking up with him immediately. Give yourself a few months of cooling off time first. You are not obligated to worry about him once you break up; you are not even obligated in any way to ever speak with him again.
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